I thought "Fair" was a writer?

[leviathan]

Hey darling Fair and Balanced,
How do you time to write your great American novel with your thousands of posts on this line? Tell the truth, does the "wife" support you? Me thinks you are telling a fib farm "boy." I think you are someones house boy and simply sit in front of the computer constantly waiting for the next "invasion."
L
P.S. Don't you love it when Fair gets pissed off?!

[Felicity]

Hey darling Fair and Balanced,
How do you time to write your great American novel with your thousands of posts on this line? Tell the truth, does the "wife" support you? Me thinks you are telling a fib farm "boy." I think you are someones house boy and simply sit in front of the computer constantly waiting for the next "invasion."
L
P.S. Don't you love it when Fair gets pissed off?!

Where the heck is Grannycab on this one?

F&BWC is obviously not who he says he is. How could he have time to post here AND write the great American novel?

Come on Grannycab, where's the indignation?
We expect that from you.


Felicity

[donprocto]

Where the heck is Grannycab on this one?

F&BWC is obviously not who he says he is. How could he have time to post here AND write the great American novel?

Come on Grannycab, where's the indignation?
We expect that from you.


FelicityI have always suspected that F&BWC is a wretched, twitching SSI recipient, awkwardly pawing at his state-grant supplied Pentium IV. A single bare light bulb dangles from a wire overhead, and the phone only rings when it's the wrong number. Coke bottles, Cheetos bags, and empty Prozac and Xanax bottles litter the floor around the cinder block and drywall desk he has fashioned for himself. His only pleasures? The third of the month when he gets to visit his local bank (screaming about how his rights are violated because he had to wait in line), the day his food stamps/independance card arrives - and the most scrumptious pleasure of all: the self delusion that he has fooled everyone on the political forum that he frequents. On the wall, his prized possession: an autographed 8x10 glossy of Ronald Reagan, ca. 1983.

Of course, this is all just speculation.

[Michael McGonagle]

Well, if nothing else, this thread will probably provide some fodder for one of his books...

[Sam Ayyam]

This thread is in clear violation of the posting rules posted on the Sticky at the top of the page.

[govayers]

I'm with Sam. Do we stand for this?

[Michael McGonagle]

This thread is in clear violation of the posting rules posted on the Sticky at the top of the page.

But I am sure that FBWC is man enough to allow this to happen. I am (not trying to speak for him, but) sure that he will just laugh at this tripe...

[Michael McGonagle]

I'm with Sam. Do we stand for this?

You can stand, sit, jump, run in place, as long as you laugh at these silly goofy repug-o-thugs...

[govayers]

The Pilgrims were still hearing the laughter when they hit Plymouth Rock. But now they don't seem to hear it at all. Has God granted them an immmunity? Lions again maybe?

[maria]

AHHHHHhhhh, the homophobes come out and try to use the ONE tool that works on them every time, emasculation. when are you guys going to get it??? Liberal guys don't care what you homophobic racecar dads think. i can guarentee that FBWC wouldn't care one bit if his wife made more money, he wouldn't HIDE it, and he sure as hell wouldn't be ASHAMED. now, we ALL know how to get your goat, call you a "weak" man by emascualting you. it only works on backward ass morons that live in the dark ages. now, go back to drinking your bud, drooling over a half naked woman, scratching your croth while discussing how cool you are.

[donprocto]

AHHHHHhhhh, the homophobes come out and try to use the ONE tool that works on them every time, emasculation. when are you guys going to get it??? Liberal guys don't care what you homophobic racecar dads think. i can guarentee that FBWC wouln't care one bit if his wife made more money, he wouldn't HIDE it, and he sure as hell wouldn't be ASHAMED. now, we ALL know how to get your goat, call you a "weak" man by emascualting you. it only works on backward ass morons that live in the dark ages. now, go back to drinking your bud, drooling over a half naked woman, scratching your croth while you discuss how cool you are.
Braaaaaaap. <squeak> Ahhhhhhh.

[Islanders_for_the_cup_04]

It's mighty ironic that we have a plagerizer commenting on someone elses writing.

[govayers]

"My Daddy drove a stock car to an early death
All I remember is a drunk man's breath"

Ain't livin' long like this----------Waylon Jennings (Robert Burns with a Tele).

[Sam Ayyam]

AHHHHHhhhh, the homophobes come out and try to use the ONE tool that works on them every time, emasculation. when are you guys going to get it??? Liberal guys don't care what you homophobic racecar dads think. i can guarentee that FBWC wouldn't care one bit if his wife made more money, he wouldn't HIDE it, and he sure as hell wouldn't be ASHAMED. now, we ALL know how to get your goat, call you a "weak" man by emascualting you. it only works on backward ass morons that live in the dark ages. now, go back to drinking your bud, drooling over a half naked woman, scratching your croth while discussing how cool you are.
HELL YEAH!

To any of you accomplished women out there, I'm happy to stay home and take care of the kids and the household.

Plus, I'm a damn good cook!

Just don't beat me if dinner isn't waiting for you when you get home. :lol:

[Fair &Balanced Who Ca]

Superman's Dog Meets the Assman

by Fair & Balanced Who Cares?

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a lowlife Troll. Some called him Leviathan, but most knew him by his "real" name of Krypto. For months he stalked another, always saying "Hahahaha! I kicked your ass!" although only those in his tiny imagination ever agreed with him.

One day, he sported a tremendous woody, and found himself feeling guilty over homosexual encounters he only wished he had the guts to partake in. So he turned his erotic fantasies loose on the internet, trying desperately to conjure images of bravery and originality, but only finding disgusting leers in their place.

Luckily for him, a depraved ass doctor came along, and proclaimed loudly, "I shall help you fulfill these strange urges, for I am the Assman, and when I speak, the air fills with the stench of methane," which is only natural, after all.

Soon these two lads were skipping merrily, hand in hand through the fields of insane stupidity, sowing thoughts hardly worthy of screenplays for Afternoon Specials, or Movies on Lifetime. Certain their inane words in some way rivaled Shakespeare, Copernicus and Galileo, they wrote themselves a little poem, which they sang with all of their tiny lungs:

Sing ho for the Assman and Krypto boy
We are the fairies of the boards
We sing and we skip and we tra-la-la
And impale each other with our "swords"
We pretend we hate the homos
We pretend we wish them harm
And we sing and we dance
And we skip and we prance
There's no cause for any alarm

Soon, all the tiny animals came out, and asked the stupid men to cease this awful racket.

"Oh please," begged Mr. Chipmunk, "can't you see our families are trying to sleep?"

"Yes yes," howled Mr. Owl, "whoooooo is annoying me so, and what is that horrible smell?"

Krypto boy and his newfound daddy were very sad. They had so hoped to change the world, and make it possible for men to marry sheep like their fathers before them had, but it was not to be.

"Stay awaaaaaaaaaay from me," said Mr. Ram, "or I will bury my horns in your backside."

"That's what we were going to you," said a disappointed Ass Doctor, sorry he hadn't been more up front about his feelings, "I guess homophobia has come to bite us in the ass once again."

"Oh WILL YOU?" pleaded Krypto boy, who hadn't quite been paying attention, "I just love when you fulfill my fetishes.

"I would love to," said the Assman, and they lived happily ever after.

Copyright © 2004 Fair & Balanced Who Cares? All rights reserved.

[donprocto]

Superman's Dog Meets the Assman

by Fair & Balanced Who Cares?

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a lowlife Troll. Some called him Leviathan, but most knew him by his "real" name of Krypto. For months he stalked another, always saying "Hahahaha! I kicked your ass!" although only those in his tiny imagination ever agreed with him.

One day, he sported a tremendous woody, and found himself feeling guilty over homosexual encounters he only wished he had the guts to partake in. So he turned his erotic fantasies loose on the internet, trying desperately to conjure images of bravery and originality, but only finding disgusting leers in their place.

Luckily for him, a depraved ass doctor came along, and proclaimed loudly, "I shall help you fulfill these strange urges, for I am the Assman, and when I speak, the air fills with the stench of methane," which is only natural, after all.

Soon these two lads were skipping merrily, hand in hand through the fields of insane stupidity, sowing thoughts hardly worthy of screenplays for Afternoon Specials, or Movies on Lifetime. Certain their inane words in some way rivaled Shakespeare, Copernicus and Galileo, they wrote themselves a little poem, which they sang with all of their tiny lungs:

Sing ho for the Assman and Krypto boy
We are the fairies of the boards
We sing and we skip and we tra-la-la
And impale each other with our "swords"
We pretend we hate the homos
We pretend we wish them harm
And we sing and we dance
And we skip and we prance
There's no cause for any alarm

Soon, all the tiny animals came out, and asked the stupid men to cease this awful racket.

"Oh please," begged Mr. Chipmunk, "can't you see our families are trying to sleep?"

"Yes yes," howled Mr. Owl, "whoooooo is annoying me so, and what is that horrible smell?"

Krypto boy and his newfound daddy were very sad. They had so hoped to change the world, and make it possible for men to marry sheep like their fathers before them had, but it was not to be.

"Stay awaaaaaaaaaay from me," said Mr. Ram, "or I will bury my horns in your backside."

"That's what we were going to you," said a disappointed Ass Doctor, sorry he hadn't been more up front about his feelings, "I guess homophobia has come to bite us in the ass once again."

"Oh WILL YOU?" pleaded Krypto boy, who hadn't quite been paying attention, "I just love when you fulfill my fetishes.

"I would love to," said the Assman, and they lived happily ever after.

Copyright © 2004 Fair & Balanced Who Cares? All rights reserved.
Actually, that was kind of funny.

[Felicity]

This thread is in clear violation of the posting rules posted on the Sticky at the top of the page.

Which rule is being violated?

[Sgt Shultz]

AHHHHHhhhh, the homophobes come out and try to use the ONE tool that works on them every time, emasculation. when are you guys going to get it??? Liberal guys don't care what you homophobic racecar dads think. i can guarentee that FBWC wouldn't care one bit if his wife made more money, he wouldn't HIDE it, and he sure as hell wouldn't be ASHAMED. now, we ALL know how to get your goat, call you a "weak" man by emascualting you. it only works on backward ass morons that live in the dark ages. now, go back to drinking your bud, drooling over a half naked woman, scratching your croth while discussing how cool you are.

maria, i read an article in the magazine "in these times" that brings up this topic. the writer was suggesting that the republican's are running on the idea that they want the "best man" for the job. she was suggesting that kerry use the same tactic by pointing out all of bush's failings and then suggested that he ask if those were the actions of a real man...

seems like a good thing to me, but what do i know, i am a man...

[govayers]

Superman's dog. I'm a believer. I was lucky enough to read that on pot. God bless that VA nurse. Bush has ordered Superman's dogs killed. And still he's not sleeping. Bush knows you don't need stem cells. You can build a backbone out of cartilege. But it'll pucker your suit.

[Michael McGonagle]

One day, he sported a tremendous woody

For a second there, I thought you were going to make this a "three-some"...


Sing ho for the Assman and Krypto boy
We are the fairies of the boards
We sing and we skip and we tra-la-la
And impale each other with our "swords"
We pretend we hate the homos
We pretend we wish them harm
And we sing and we dance
And we skip and we prance
There's no cause for any alarm

Is there any music to these words? You are a musician, too, right?



This was just too funny...

[Sam Ayyam]

Which rule is being violated?
These rules.
3. Threads whose purpose is to attack another poster are not permitted. That would include "Polls" whose obvious intent is an attack.
4. It is fine to attack another poster's point of view but posts whose purpose is to personally attack another poster or their family are not permitted.

[Tayken]

Sam's only problem is he never speaks up when his liberal friends do this. So let's all have a big belly laugh at Sam and how he has no shame at being a hypocrite.

[donprocto]

These rules.
He took my barbs well, and I must admit, I got a laugh out of what he said. Get a grip.

[Islanders_for_the_cup_04]

Sam's only problem is he never speaks up when his liberal friends do this. So let's all have a big belly laugh at Sam and how he has no shame at being a hypocrite.
LOOKOUT!!!!!!

Its that fair and balanced hammer of political justice!!!!!!!



TAYKEN!!!!!!!

[two_iron]

seems f&b has been outted by some of the newer posters....


that's not good....


take it from someone that's been here a couple years.... you people have NO idea how vile this piece of shit is.....lol.... you people don't know the half of it....


the only reason he's tolerated around here is because it's 10 to 1libs to cons and he manages to include a significant amount of Bush-hatred into his overall hatred of mankind....


the only purpose this fucking neanderthal serves on this planet is to remind of of what we're opposed to in this country... heh, occasionally I'll feel disappointed in something the BA has or hasn't done..... all it takes is one f&b hate-screed to remind me what the alternate is....

in fact, that reminds me..... it's time to write another check to the GOP and the SwiftVets....

[PatRiot]

Where the heck is Grannycab on this one? -Folly

"Grannycab" is right here, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, wondering yet AGAIN if conservatives are mentally capable of producing a SINGLE original idea---other, of course, than those that involve torture and death. So far, the answer appears to be NO Frigging WAY. LOL.

[Woody]

"Grannycab" is right here, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, wondering yet AGAIN if conservatives are mentally capable of producing a SINGLE original idea---other, of course, than those that involve torture and death. So far, the answer appears to be NO Frigging WAY. LOL.
Displaying more bigotry I see. You sure are into classifying people, aren't you? As a lefty I thought you were taught that was wrong.

[Michael McGonagle]

Sam's only problem is he never speaks up when his liberal friends do this. So let's all have a big belly laugh at Sam and how he has no shame at being a hypocrite.

Hypocrite Tayken pretends that he does it with his fellow Connies, but only to make a point...

[Michael McGonagle]

seems f&b has been outted by some of the newer posters....

And just how did they do that? Did you read what FBWC wrote? Or can you actually read (I guess I would have to assume that you get your mommy to type for you, right?)

that's not good....

Once again, did you read what FBWC wrote? It was funny as hell. Even donprocto thought so...

take it from someone that's been here a couple years....

You've been at it this long, and you still can't make an intelligent post? I think you need to find someone else who actually knows how to type, as mommy doesn't do a very good job...

you people have NO idea how vile this piece of shit is.....lol.... you people don't know the half of it....

Got to re-read that one.. Vile? Isn't this the PERVERT calling the kettle black? Have you used the C word lately? Or did mommy forget how to spell it?

the only reason he's tolerated around here is because it's 10 to 1libs to cons and he manages to include a significant amount of Bush-hatred into his overall hatred of mankind....

Feeling lonely? Does mommy actually read what FBWC write to you? If she does, you might want to find someone else to read to you, as mommy doesn't read very well...

the only purpose this fucking neanderthal serves on this planet is to remind of of what we're opposed to in this country... heh, occasionally I'll feel disappointed in something the BA has or hasn't done..... all it takes is one f&b hate-screed to remind me what the alternate is....

It would appear that not only can't mommy read, but she also lies to her little two-fist...

in fact, that reminds me..... it's time to write another check to the GOP and the SwiftVets....

Does mommy know that you play with her check book?

[Michael McGonagle]

Displaying more bigotry I see. You sure are into classifying people, aren't you? As a lefty I thought you were taught that was wrong.

Would this be a classification? I don't know, I am confused?

Did the pot talk to the kettle?

[PatRiot]

Displaying more bigotry I see. You sure are into classifying people, aren't you? As a lefty I thought you were taught that was wrong. -woody

You're a lefty??? ROFLOL.

[Neurobürger]

Hey darling Fair and Balanced,
How do you time to write your great American novel with your thousands of posts on this line? Tell the truth, does the "wife" support you? Me thinks (sic) you are telling a fib farm "boy." I think you are someones house boy and simply sit in front of the computer constantly waiting for the next "invasion."
L
P.S. Don't you love it when Fair gets pissed off?!

'methinks' that anyone who resorts to the usage of such antiquated yet 'high-fallutin' sounding verbiage is a pretenious twit. unless you're some sort of language specialist, and you spend your time reading chaucer, such phraseology is pompous and ignorant. besides, it's one word, twit.

[Winger_Ace]

Hey darling Fair and Balanced,
How do you time to write your great American novel with your thousands of posts on this line? Tell the truth, does the "wife" support you? Me thinks you are telling a fib farm "boy." I think you are someones house boy and simply sit in front of the computer constantly waiting for the next "invasion."
L
P.S. Don't you love it when Fair gets pissed off?!

I can tell you this levi, "Ear_Infection" is not a "Righter"... :p

[Sam Ayyam]

Hypocrite Tayken pretends that he does it with his fellow Connies, but only to make a point...
I was being sincere. I don't really mind such threads, but them's the rules. This thread wasn't a call-out on an issue, it was meant solely to denigrate another poster. I'll stick up for my firends though, just like others stick up for theirs, q.v. our resident jarheads.

And yes, I have noticed a bit of a double standard in this regard from the other side of the aisle, too.

[leviathan]

"That's what we were going to you,"- This part of your story rings somewhat hollow. Did you mean "This is why we were coming to you?" or "This is what we were going to do to you?" Anyway, let me know so I can develop some mental image. This is what I envision chapter two looking like.

A s Ass Doctor and Krypto continued their gambol deep into the forest they came across a small cottage. Since both were famished and in need of sustenance they knocked. A tall blond androgynous looking fellow answered the door looking somewhat frightened. “Hello, we are Ass Doctor and this is my life-partner Krypto, may we trouble you for a drink?” “You know I’m married? , I have a wife! , I’m not involved in anything deviant! , I didn’t even notice your bulging muscles or tight round buttocks!” protested the gentleman. Confused and somewhat disgusted the tow looked at each other in confusion. “Uh oh did I say those things out loud again?” asked the gentleman. “Please forgive me, I am Fulminator Fair, but you can call me Fulfa.” The interior was dank and smelled of Spam and Crabtree & Evelyn hand lotion. A small table with one leg being held by old issues of muscle magazines sat in the corner of the room. A Xerox Sunrise 1800 sat on the top with hundreds of scrolls of paper crammed into the cracks of the wood. As Krypto walked over to investigate further Fulfa became enraged. “Don’t touch anything! he shrieked into Kryptos face. “They laugh at my sciolism, but I will show them bastards!” Krypto slowly backed away from the table trying to prevent another quart of saliva from being strewn onto his red velvet shirt. “I am in the business of derogation” explained Fulfa. “I see injustice on Arianna and I am compelled to respond.” “Kind of like Mighty Mouse” Krypto responed. Krypto continued, “in giving a cursory glance to your notes you seem to be someone who oscillates from sarcasm to dissimulation.” Fulfa paused and tipped his head to the side similar to a golden retriever hearing a car alarm, “What can I get you guys? AND DID I TELL YOU I WAS MARRIED!” Both nodded quickly and decisively as too not anger the cretin. “Water will be fine!”, they yelled in stereo. Fulfa grunted and turned toward the kitchen. Loud knocking sounds erupted from the other room and when Krypto inquired if Fulfa needed assistance he replied “No, No, No, I told you I have a wife!” Fulfa arrived a few minutes later with the beverage. As Ass Doctor picked up his glass he noticed the water had a strange odor and color (almost a cadmium yellow). “Don’t worry about that it’s the cats, I’ve been drinking it for years and look at me.” Ass Doctor politely feigned sipping the “mixed” drink and placed his glass onto the table (which was nothing more than an old paper towel box duct taped for rigidity). “Do you have a coaster?” chuckled Ass Doc. Fulfa sat emotionlessly evidently not comprehending the jibe. “So tell us about your wife” chimed Krypto attempting to engage in conversation with this contiguous urine drinker. Fulfa looked shaken, “She’s coming home soon you know!” Ass Doctor inquired further “What does she do, what does she look like?” “You ask a lot of questions!” snapped Fulfa. “My wife went to Pete’s Gas-n-Sip to pick up some Schlitz and I expect her any minute.” Before Krypto could utter a word Fulfa excitedly asked “Do ya wanna see some family pictures?!” He then reached across and pulled out a large dusty binder evidently filled with years of memories. As the two were looking through the ratty volume, they became increasingly befuddled. “These are all cats” stated Ass Doctor. “I know it! what’s the matter with cats!?” asked Fulfa. “They can be more than pets you know? , they can be much more.” Still having a look of disgust on their faces, Fulfa grabbed the book and angrily screamed “I want you two out of here!” They all stood, Ass Doctor and Krypto started walking toward the door away from their host. The subjection and denial of bodily passions and appetites by Fulfa have obviously caused deep emotional trauma and the two could not take the chance of this erupting further during their visit. “Wait!” cried Fulfa, “I want to show you one more thing, please” he begged. The two agreed and nervously waited by the torn screen door. A few minutes later Fulfa emerged from the back room completely naked except for cat whiskers glued to his face, a long tail protruding from his backside and holding a bowl of milk. “My wife might be out longer than I thought!, please pet your good little kitty, I can purr and caress your legs.” Krypto and Ass Doctor immediately jumped through what was left of the screen, ran past the rusting cars on the “lawn” and into the forest.
After a few hours of sprinting the two collapsed in exhaustion by a maple and recalled their experience. “He certainly was a strange character” claimed Ass Doctor. “Yeah, but I can’t help thinking about his tail” said Krypto. “If his wife is out as much as I think she is, sticking that thing is his butt must be like waving a broomstick in the Holland Tunnel.” Then they both shared a laugh and decided to retire for the evening.

[Felicity]

If I even once complained to the admins about Ellena's foul posts about me, I would have been laughed off the forum.

God, hypocrites infuriate me.



Felicity

[Woody]

If I even once complained to the admins about Ellena's foul posts about me, I would have been laughed off the forum.

God, hypocrites infuriate me.



Felicity
Then stay away from Kentay's comments on the "Fuck off Woody' thread.

[PatRiot]

If I even once complained to the admins about Ellena's foul posts about me, I would have been laughed off the forum.

God, hypocrites infuriate me. -Folly

"Highly-placed," grant-writing, cookie-selling, PTA mom who-has-no-apparent-home-life, Folly of the 2731 posts is infuriated by hypocrites?

Oh.



Love,

Grannycab.

[PatRiot]

So, Woody-Writes-For-A-Living, you're a "lefty"? LOL

[Mike]

Several of you are correct. This thread does belong on "Off topic..." and can be addressed there as well as here.

I'll move it there. Don't complain, though, when another front page thread joins it there...

Mike

[Michael McGonagle]

If I even once complained to the admins about Ellena's foul posts about me, I would have been laughed off the forum.

God, hypocrites infuriate me.



Felicity

Well, you seem to spread it pretty liberally so that EVERYONE can hear you complaints...

Funny thing how you can't even seem to read the articles that you post, you know the one that you claimed that Kerry was going to pay "big time". The Article said that Kerry still held a 10 point lead in the battleground states...

"Tra, la, la, la, la, I'm Felicity, and I'm a dumb-assed bitch...
Tra, la, la, la, la, fart..."

[Felicity]

Well, you seem to spread it pretty liberally so that EVERYONE can hear you complaints...

Funny thing how you can't even seem to read the articles that you post, you know the one that you claimed that Kerry was going to pay "big time". The Article said that Kerry still held a 10 point lead in the battleground states...

"Tra, la, la, la, la, I'm Felicity, and I'm a dumb-assed bitch...
Tra, la, la, la, la, fart..."

Alrighty then Michael, now I've taken enough.


Felicity

[Woody]

Alrighty then Michael, now I've taken enough.


Felicity
Some advice Felicity. It is best to leave McTroll alone, basically ignore him. If he doesn't get you to leave by twisiting your posts he generally will get real personal. Like he did there. When he loses it, he tends to say things like f*ck you and F*ck your mother.

Then he wonders why people ignore his questions.

You did the right thing. Just walk away.

[Woopy]

Me know not what me you he talk about........that's not issue.........issue Bush doesn't like tomatoes............I have to walk milk carton.......